I meant to post this weeks ago but it’s summer and I’m full time mommy to two for a husband who works from home (i.e. Sometimes they have to be QUIET which is a term neither my 3 year old nor 19 month old understand for more than 3 seconds).
But- I figure if someone who is interested in surrogacy is reading they might appreciate this knowledge.
First- it should be stated that these are only some of OUR legal restrictions and particulars- they will certainly vary from contract to contract and, I’ve found, IVF clinic to IVF clinic. So, these are just some of the crappy parts of the contract (but, I obviously agree to abide by them).
- THE SEX- we were instructed to stop intercourse when the cycle started (essentially 4 weeks before the transfer). This is to protect all parties involved– I do not want another baby; I want to help grow someone else’s baby! So they essentially limit the chance of that happening by saying, “NO, no matter what!” We were, however, free to enjoy ourselves in other ways- which we did 😉 for those four weeks. THEN, the transfer paperwork came through and we were told that once the transfer took place, NO ORGASMS 😳. I stupidly assumed that that was until the positive BETA (9 days). But the bad news of the call we got yesterday verifying that I am pregnant is that I am not allowed to orgasm until the damn ultrasound. TWO MORE WEEKS!?!!! (Now, I am sure there are people/couples out there that are alright with that- I know some women who would do backflips! 😂 I, however, have only gone 4 weeks max and that was only after the birth of my babies when the nether parts needed some well deserved rest. So 7 fucking weeks?!? Ha! More like 7 non-fucking weeks?! That’s brutal. I may have to reconsider allowing my husband to be happy even though I’m not 😞)
- THE ALCOHOL- duh. No drinking when pregnant. Of course! Though I will admit that I had glasses of wine here and there during both my pregnancies and nursing (I was just careful about when I had said glass). This one isn’t mine though, so sure- not a drop. Okay😢. Our contract though, requested that we stop alcohol when the cycle started. So 4 weeks before the transfer. Ugh. It’ll be like, a year, before I can enjoy that sweet nectar again.
- THE DELIVERY- I didn’t realize this until the contract was in front of me, but surrogate compensation for pain and suffering is stopped once delivery occurs. Which makes total sense. And, since my oven likes to over-cook it’s buns, it never occurred to me what might happen if baby girl shows up early. My job of growing baby is considered done at 28 weeks. Which means that I will receive everything as long as I make it past that point. THIS IS SUPER GENEROUS! My friend’s contract states that her “finish line” is 34 weeks with twins 😬! If she goes into labor before that time the payments end at that point. Which is ultimately understandable since IP’s would then have NICU and hospital bills to worry about paying. So it makes sense- but is certainly something to be aware of if you’re ever considering being a surrogate OR using one!
- THE EXERCISE- The IVF clinic stated that I was not to do any exercise that would get my heart rate above 140! Again, I assumed this would be until I was confirmed pregnant but again- I can’t exercise until the ultrasound 😩. I might lose my mind a littl with this. I just don’t quite understand the science behind it. Grrr…
No sex, no drinking, no exercising… I’m living quite the lame life. 😑
The rest of its pretty straight forward- don’t eat soft cheeses, heat deli meat, stay off meth. You know, be healthy (just don’t exercise 🙄).
Oh- the other slightly unpleasant part:
These guys—yuck! I don’t have anything in the photo to give perspective but it’s a pretty long little stick and it goes you know where! I use them twice a day in addition to the progesterone shot my husband has to give me nightly. Some women REALLY hate these, but they just require a panty liner everyday which, in my opinion, isn’t so bad!
I feel it necessary to point out that this is just silly bitching. I am more than happy, thrilled in fact, to be able to do this for these parents. THRILLED! When the IP’s called to celebrate the positive pregnancy confirmation they were so complimentary and so thankful. IM said that I was biologically blessed and believe me, I know it! So I am very thankful that these parents trust me enough with carrying and growing their little girl for them. I almost tear up typing this… perhaps the hormones are kicking in afterall sheesh🙄 (I’m typically pretty even keeled).