Monika's Musings

Next Steps (Some Good News, Finally)

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Last I left off, my beta level was considered “not pregnant” at 3.36 and we were waiting to hear from someone at the CA Clinic what was next. 

I figured, when I didn’t get an immediate orders for another blood draw, that perhaps they were working on a calendar. (🤞🏻) They are usually really quick on sending orders so I figured that no news was good news and told the IP’s just that. 

It was Wednesday around 6:30 pm (damn time difference drives me nuts) when I finally got an email (almost a whole week after the blood draw 🙄).

It had orders for my baseline ultrasound, my med calendar (all the same), and my lining check and blood draw. 

I am thinking they will use their last little girl embryo (depending on thawing) and I am going to do lots of deep breathing to prevent the stress I feel when I think about how it’s the last one. I hate that feeling. I really don’t want to ruin their chances of getting a take home little baby 🎀girl 🎀. 😬😬😬

Also- my dad said that his doctor said treatments aren’t “in any rush” and he can schedule them at his leisure (he travels for work and once the treatments start- it’s 8 weeks straight 5xa week! 😳).  BUT, I feel like that means it isn’t too scary if they are willing to let him start in a month vs telling him they need to get after it right away. It can’t be that bad, then, right?! We also found out that the treatments are only 15 minutes long and have no serious side effects (no nausea, no hair loss, no loss of appetite, no pain during or residual, etc.). So that makes the whole thing seem way less scary! Whew. It’s still cancer and that’s so intimidating, but I’m confident he will be fine. 

Anyway- I don’t know if bad things must happen in 3’s. Perhaps the 3rd thing already happened and I just missed it because- uh— CANCER. But right now, today, things are looking up. 

I’m going to be more careful this go round. I don’t know that my behaviors need to change (I followed Dr. orders to a T, straight down to the no orgasms rule 😑) but I will certainly not be putting the cart before the horse like I did last time. I’ll steel my heart and mind a bit better until I’m released to my OB and the “danger zone” if far less drastic. 
So- that’s all for now. At some point this weekend I’ll have to force myself to sit and grade these damn essays. 170 of them 😩. But until then, I’ll enjoy one of my last days of drinking and go love on my family!

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