We drove to OK yesterday to get the kids settled in with Aunt Mack and Uncle J. Tucker was a bit rotten in the morning, mostly, I think, because he was very excited to get to see his cousins and all the eating breakfast, getting dressed, and packing were holding things up. 🙄
And man, it is sooo fun to watch them play together. And they actually do. It isn’t just playing around each other any more, they are actually interacting. And I can tell that Tucker is no longer the “tag along,” but instead actually able to keep up with his cousins that are a tad older. And sweet Sage is the baby and Mack’s kids are so gentle and accommodating to her. It just makes my heart happy. There will be many more “cousin camps” in our future!
Plus, of course, it helps me relax knowing they’re safe and sound. Outside of Jesse and me of course, this is the absolute best place for them! They are loved and parented and cuddled but also held to a standard concerning manners and politeness. I’m ever so grateful that the only thing I have to worry about concerning dropping the babies off is that I KNOW it’s adding to my sister’s stress level- though she will pull it off flawlessly in her rock star Mom way.
Speaking of worries- guys, I slept like absolute shit. I was comfy, cozy, snuggled in the couch but I could NOT sleep! My mind was going all different directions. I hate that I’m so nervous this go round. And I 100% know that I did everything right last time and will continue to do so this go round, but Lordy! I don’t think I can shake this feeling.
Last transferi was anxious about getting the the clinic and nervous about making sure my bladder was full and stressed about maps and stupid stuff. But I just “knew” that once that little embryo was in there we’d all be fine. And then I got the positive tests and I was so confident. This time, I KNOW about all the stupid stuff but I think this feeling of anxiety will linger until we hear that familiar sound of horses galloping that is a baby heartbeat and perhaps even until we make it to the release to normal OB at 10-12 weeks. I just want so badly to deliver a healthy baby back into the arms of the IP’s and do NOT want to be a source of more pain or frustration. I can’t stand that idea.
So- I’m on the plane and need to power down next stop CA! Send me some calming vibes!!!