So- it has happened again. I’m going off the deep end.
And I think it’s worse that I recognize it happening but instead of turning away from the ledge, I embrace it and just jump right off that fucker anyway. 🙄
So, this go round I swore I was going to wait until Thirsday night (3.5 days past transfer) before I peed on a home pregnancy test (hpt).
I made it to Wednesday night (2 days) 😬.
Then, because the more expensive tests were on sale and just sitting around tempting me to pee on them, Thursday morning I decided that I should maybe try one that’s more sensitive because WHY NOT?!? So not even 3 days past transfer I wasted another test. 🤷♀️
yep, I peed on another one. (At least it was only $.88)
Yeah- me neither. 😕
But- new day- new sticks to pee on.
So this morning I did this one:
And there STILL isn’t anything. Not even the slightest, squintiest, “maybe something’s there” line. So, I can tell myself it’s still early- and I KNOW it’s still early. But damnit. Let this one work— PLEASE UNIVERSE?!? Please please please?!?
So tonight, 4 and a half days past the transfer, I decided that I would just pee on a test every time I needed to go and just embrace my addiction full on (swan dive, if you will, into the deep end).
So around 5 I had to pee:
Yes- I totally edited the color of the photo in attempt to darken the imaginary line I thought maybe I was seeing.
So, Yes- I created the line you may (or may not) see.
Yes- I know I’m nuts but frankly, I don’t give a damn.
And, if you would, cross some fingers and toes, and eyes and… well… anything else that will cross- cross that too. Please.
Cause I NEED this to work. We all do.