Moving- we arrived!

So moving with kids presents a whole different realm of stress. But priority number ONE is to make sure the kids are settled and okay.

Tucker has known for a long time that we were moving and we did a decent job (if I do say so myself) of making sure he understood what it means to live on a boat. I believe what really sold the idea to him is that he gets his own room (forget adventure and sailing and being on the water…).

Sage, on the other hand, is only two so I’m not quite sure how she feels or what exactly she understands about the situation. BUT she was thrilled to get to spend the night in her big girl bed in her own room! She’s been in her crib until she broke free yesterday (she did great BTW).

Both kids got to pick what toys they want to bring and helped me line them up at the house: (in case you’re wondering, NO this will not all fit. At least I’m pretty sure it won’t! We will see)

Then, the morning we left, I had them pick which lovies they want to bring and they lined them up nicely:

Then, we loaded it all into the car (along with all the rest of our junk that will NOT all fit) and hit the road:

When we arrived, kids went to the pool with Jesse and I unloaded their clothes, toiletries, and lovies so we could complete a successful first night on the boat. Here are their rooms:

After their bedtime, some friends joined us for champagne and decompression time:

I didn’t take pictures of the friends but I swear they are here. I just didn’t want to be all, “hi, I just met you in person for the first time and I’d like to put you in my blog, is that okay?”

Anyway- success (for now)…

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Getting Rid of Stuff

So we are venturing into the world of Tiny Living except ours is the water edition.

I haven’t figured exact square footage of our living space; it’s different than a tiny house because the entire cockpit of the boat in addition to the deck all count as living space.

Whatever the case, we have been living in a 2,400 square foot house on an acre of land… it’s going to be an adjustment!

Steps we’ve taken to prepare:

  • 3 years ago in Aug. we moved to TX leaving everything we owned except the baby furniture (dresser, crib, toy shelf) and our clothes. We packed up our dishes, stereo stuff, TV, and lawn equipment and brought those items with us to store down here but left everything else “stuff wise” in OK. Living without the stuff by necessity certainly helped put things into perspective. We couldn’t bring the stuff with us when we had less than three days to make the move. This step was the hardest initially. I missed having my stuff- my bed, my couch, my favorite snuggle spot, etc.
  • A year later, we went back to OK to sell the house. We knew we were never going back there and we had the time to dedicate to sprucing up the house and staging it to help it sell faster. Once pictures were taken and the contract was in place we sold everything we owned. Beds, couches, shelves, books, extraneous kitchen things, E V E R Y T H I N G. It was probably this moment, now two years ago, that Jesse and I decided there was no turning back. I know it was the decision to get rid of it all that made our families nervous. I think they started to realize that we were not just making this up- we were actually taking necessary steps.
  • Now we are in the process of editing the stuff we decided to keep three years ago when we first moved. The stuff that is hardest for me, strangely, is my wardrobe. I work with high school kids! I can’t wear the same 5 outfits everyday and I need to look somewhat professional! Plus it’s a new job; I don’t want to look like a slob! I feel silly stressing so much about my clothes, but it is my biggest concern at this point. I went through and honestly looked at the stuff in my closet. Some of the things I was hanging on to are memories… I don’t wear that shirt, but the kids who made it for me, I don’t want to forget. Or, ALL the maternity clothes… I remember wearing them while growing my littles and getting rid of the clothes feels like I’m getting rid of the memories. But it’s time to go, time to make room for new memories that hopefully won’t be connected to “things” but instead feelings.

When chatting with people now, I can see it on their face- the idea of it makes them nervous or they think we are crazy. I get it. We ARE breaking the norm and we ARE stirring things up. But we feel good about it and it can always been undone.

At any point we can sell the boat, buy a house, fill it with stuff, and move back on land. My desperate hope is that we won’t do that for quite some time. BUT- we know that option is there.

Here are some things that I read/watched over the years to help prepare for getting rid of the “stuff”:

There are a ton of shows about tiny living… watch them.

There are a ton of books about getting rid of stuff… read them.

By and large- once you get past the shock- it feels so damn good! I feel light and free and… good. Just good.

What Do You Do With An Idea?

My last post was obviously a change of pace considering most of my writing over the last year had been surrogacy related.  That chapter of my life has closed and we are literally moving on.  Luckily my page is all about my random musings not just babies and surrogacy, so I’ll just keep on keeping on.  I do realize that my measly following might dwindle and I will take no offence.  I really write more for me; if it helps someone else in the process, awesome.

So, this family of four will be moving in July onto a 50 ft. sailboat.  I swear I will be posting more about that process and what steps we started taking LONG ago as well as the more immediate steps we have been through, but for now I feel like I need to explain a little more background.

This weekend, I went to a family gathering and word spread that Jesse and I were moving.  People asked obvious questions: “Where to?” or “Have you found a house?” or “Did  you get a new job?” etc.  I ended up explaining over, and over, and OVER again… and was often met with looks of shock.  Which I totally get.  We are choosing to live life differently and it freaks people out.  Over the course of the evening, I had learned to start the “house” conversation with the caveat, “I am NOT crazy…”

After answering basic questions (which I will eventually address in another post) and explaining a broad outline of short term and longer term plans, people generally expressed, “Good for you guys, that’s amazing.”  Or “Wow, what an adventure!”

Now, this was family, so I am fully aware that their response was more loving and accepting (at least to my face) than some random person I might meet.  But even so, I know that many people were thinking and some even asked, “Where did this come from?  It seems so… out of nowhere.”  And I had to assure them that it did NOT, in fact, come out of nowhere but had been a strategic plan that Jesse and I have been fine tuning since our relationship started.

But Jesse and I also very much protected our ideas and our dreams from people.  We were afraid that sharing it with people too early might break us down.  We were already aware of our own fear of change and doing something different, having other people add on to that fear or give us even more reason to doubt was NOT something we were willing to take a chance on.  So we kept it to ourselves and nurtured it and discussed it between the two of us.  We fed it a healthy dose of research and books and blogs of other people that have started this adventure before us.  We watched (still watch) youtube channels of people that are currently living the life we dream to live.

When we felt sure and started to see how close we were we shared it with people we knew would be supportive-  my sister and her husband, for example.  And, just like a good big sister, she asked questions, and seemed genuinely excited for us.  From there, we talked to our parents.  Generally they were more scared and that was VERY frustrating (but also something for another post).  It was good to walk them through their fears and the accompanying questions- through that process we cemented our passion for this next life chapter.

And only now, when we are doing it, are we sharing it with the world.

On my last day of school, I was given a book.  IT WAS THE PERFECT BOOK and I cried ugly tears reading it.

It’s called What Do You Do with and Idea? and it perfectly explains how Jesse and I have felt about our next steps and how we acted at first and how we feel now.  I am going to illegally post the very crappy pictures I took because I need you to buy this book and read it for yourself and read it to your kids over and over and over.  I think it is a life lesson for ALL people and a terrific reminder.

Originally published: 2013
Author: Kobi Yamada
Illustrator: Mae Besom

Let’s go WAY back…

Year: 2012

Location: New York, NY

Season: Late Spring

School was out for summer (I teach, remember).  A friend had offered us his place in the city for free for a long weekend.  Flights were cheap. We had only been dating for 6 months (though we were already living together because we “just knew”) and thought it would be a great, romantic, cheap, getaway.  COUNT US IN.

We had both been to the city before.  Jesse had been a few times in his adult life and already knew of some cool spots to re-visit.  I, however, had only been once when I was 12ish.  My dad worked for an airline and thought it would be cool to take us to the top of the Statue of Liberty (back when you could climb the cramped circle staircase right into the crown and peer out over the city).  So we got up early one morning, boarded a plane, landed in NY, headed to the statue, then got straight back on the plane to fly home.  We literally were gone 24 hours… so I really knew nothing about the city (except what I learned watching Sex and the City).

We landed with our carry-ons and hopped straight onto the subway.  We ate lunch, we day drank, we saw the sights, we went to less known locations, we explored some book stores, we walked by the pier… and that’s when we decided to take an evening sail to watch the sunset, drink, and see the Statue again.  Man I miss the spontaneity of our pre-kid life… memories….  anyway, I digress. 

It’s was this moment that forever altered the course of my life, though, at the time, I never would have known- it was just a cool thing to do.

We loved the sail.  It was spring so still pretty chilly, especially on the water after the sunset.  So in prep, I bought a cute wrap/scarf thing from a street vendor to wear to keep me warm (I still wear that damn thing).

I can’t be certain this was THE BOAT (hell, it’s been 6 years!) but it gives you an idea.  It was massive and beautiful and we drank and talked and Jesse explained all the boat stuff.  Again, we had only been dating a few months and I knew he loved to sail but I didn’t know AT ALL how much he knew!  I was blown away (pun not intended, but it works)!

After we returned to the dock and as the crowds were departing, Jesse asked if he could use the “head” (I later realized it was boat speak for “bathroom”). So we got to go down below.  I had thought the upper deck and cockpit of the boat was beautiful, but I was NOT prepared for the exquisite woodwork that was below.  This boat was massive and could easily sleep a crew of 10 if not more (again, I am certain I am not recalling it all perfectly- how was I to know then what I know now).  He showed me around a little and told me what was what without being too nosy and then we headed above to go get dinner.

While I may not recall exactly which boat, and I may not recall exactly what else happened that night, I will NEVER forget the conversation we had as we walked down the dock hand in hand:

Jesse: You know, people live on those things.  Just like their house.

Me: That makes sense, I mean, it’s huge.

Jesse:  They raise their kids on those boats and sail around the world visiting new places and seeing new things.

Me: Really?  I mean, I’m a teacher, I could home school our kids while we explore the world.

Jesse: *stops moving and stares at me*

Me: I’m serious.  I love the idea.  How do we make that happen?

******

Again, I can’t be certain exactly what happened after all that, but I believe we spent the rest of the evening chatting about boats, kids, our futures, and how we could possibly make it all happen.

*******

Fast Forward 6 years, 2 kids, and two moves later… and it’s happening.  NOW. That moment 6 years ago changed our course so significantly that now that it’s here, this moment we’ve literally talked about daily since then, I can barely even process it all.  I’m so utterly excited but also scared fucking senseless!  But, as my dear friend and biggest cheerleader, Jen, has helped me see:

I will share more details soon, but I had to tell the back story first.

It’s almost more than I can bare…

We had to say goodbye to another fur baby within 48 hours of my Luna pup.

Our house is super quiet. A maddening quiet. The silence is painful.

Rue came into our lives 6 years ago.

Let me back up.

Jesse, when he moved in with me, had an old lady pup named Shelby. She was the third dog in my family (in addition to my two weims). She was old and he had already been told by a vet before he moved back to OK that she was sick and she probably wouldn’t make it another year. But we were hopeful and while she laid around quite a bit, whenever table scraps were available she had no problems being the first to snag them.

But, the summer after Jesse moved in, Shelby really started to slow down. Then, Jesse took a weekend guys trip to the lake and his fur baby, Shelby, decided that it would be a good weekend to go. She stopped eating completely. She secluded herself outside and it took everything in me to coerce her back in and to hold off until he returned.

Jesse came back on Sunday and on Monday, after a long night of watching her struggle, I skipped school and went with him to the vet. It was time.

It was the first time I ever saw Jesse cry. And it was so hard. There is something about a strong man weeping that breaks me apart. He was almost inconsolable.

But time heals all wounds. He has a tattoo of her paw print over his heart. She was his first “ride or die” and while my two crazy ass dogs were around, they were just that. MY crazy ass dogs. HIS dog was gone and his heart hurt. (Blended families are tough y’all… even with Furry babies!)

We got Ellie 6 months or so later. She was supposed to be our dog together, but she is a total Daddy’s Girl (She allows me to pet her occasionally when he’s not around 🙄).

So, once again we were a 3 dog family. (our engagement photos on the front porch of our steps. Shiner, on the left, is less than thrilled to be posing. Luna’s ready for a nap. And Ellie’s just sitting there like a good girl- showing off.)

Then, a year after having to put Shelby down, he and his guy friends were at the lake again. He had taken Ellie with him because she would just whine and pout if she had to stay with me.

But, as the guys were hanging out at the lake, a red dog came sauntering up and just plopped down right next to Jesse like she belonged there all along and had finally found him. The personality and looks were strikingly similar to Shelby- so much so that Jesse was almost taken aback.

When he moved, she followed.

When he went inside, she laid down by the back door and waited for him to return.

There were 4 or 5 other guys there and she didn’t give two shits about any of them, she only had eyes for Jesse (you can imagine how put out Ellie must have felt 😂).

Speaking of Ellie. This random red dog taught our new pup how to swim and fetch and snip at heels (they are both Heelers)- outside of having to share Jesse, they got along really well.

Jesse and I chatted about how she might belong to someone nearby so he should just leave her out that night.

He did, but the next morning- there she was. Waiting for him.

And the next morning after that.

The day they left, Jesse texted: “I’m going to leave her. But I’m going to call back in two days- if she’s still here- I HAVE to come get her.”

I agreed but made him swear up and down that he couldn’t use the whole “we have 4 dogs- we don’t have room for babies” as an excuse. 😂😂

Two days later- we drove back out to the lake and snagged our Red girl. The 4th pup in our family.

We had just finished reading Hunger Games and our favorite character was Rue. It sounded enough like “red” that we figured whatever this lady’s name was previously she’d quickly adapt. And she did.

We had the vet check her out and got her current on shots. The vet guesstimated that she was 6-8 years old when we got her (no spring chicken, but man- fast as lightening chasing a tennis ball!).

Our fur family was complete.

Here’s a shitty picture of us at the dog park (pre kids). Anyone who has owned a weim knows that they’re crazy and you can see their crazy blurs here. We would take them nightly after being stuck inside all day while we both worked. They were our babies. Ellie and Rue (on the rock with me) loved to play hard but would also be calm occasionally.

Here’s one of just the girls on the deck we built at our old house in OK.

I think they are waiting for me to throw the ball.

In June of 2016 we lost Old Man Shiner. He was 13 years old.

Then, two days ago I lost my baby girl, Luna. My Luna-tic, my Silly Goose Goose.

And last night. After a year of nose bleeds and snoring, poor Rue started bleeding from her nose and mouth. We couldn’t get it to stop. She wouldn’t eat or drink for two days. I kept hoping it would slow and she’d be fine because losing another family member just wasn’t fathomable but it was time, again, so say goodbye to a dear, dear friend.

****

I fear making my son’s lunch tonight because who will eat the crusts of his sandwich?

I fear waking up in the morning, who will race to the back door to be let out? Who will bark until I return with food for their bowl?

I fear making breakfast, who will eat the strawberry tops I cut off?

I fear going to bed, who will I trip on to get to my spot?

I fear blow drying my hair in the morning, who will sit between my legs enjoying the warm air?

I fear the silence.

I fear the emptiness.

This house is now three souls less than when we moved here.

My heart hurts.

Welcome 2018

I was sitting around on a tame New Years Eve contemplating my last few months of 2017. I realize that a lot of my mental state has been pretty negative from my blog perspective but I refuse to let the really crappy finish of this year taint the whole thing. Some pretty amazing things happened.

  • We paid off $104,000 of school loans in one year and 9 months! In May we managed to become completely debt free! I don’t know many people that can say that!
  • We have managed to save 50% of our income every month which has put us into a safe place not many couples our age have the ability to be in.
  • I got my dream job again- AP Lit with Seniors. And get to teach my favorite stuff to really some really awesome students.
  • My son knows to ALWAYS ask “please” and say “thank you” and my daughter is well on her way to the same polite measures.
  • The end of diapers is so close! Tuck is completely finished (we’ve had 5 successful nights in a row) and Sage only sleeps in one (and will until she is done with her crib- which will be never if I have any say. She’s just going to stay my baby). This is a huge success for 2017 especially since cloth diapering! I welcome doing far less laundry in 2018 by subtracting diapers alone!
  • We have successfully left my kids at “cousin camp” and had my niece and nephew visit us- so summer week long date trips are looking to be something in our future (and my sister and brother-in-law’s)! That will be awesome!
  • We have some prospective family vacations in the works, something we haven’t done in quite some time. I’m very much looking forward to this!
  • We are one step away from pursuing our dream which is what set us on this path in TX and ultimately surrogacy. It’s a bit too detailed to list here, but I will post about it soon.
  • And two of my best dear friends from Oklahoma are visiting here in TX and that is bound to be good for my heart and soul.

There are many things to celebrate from 2017 and I refuse to let a rough finish overshadow all the success.

Welcome 2018! I’m ready for you!

Well damn.

We spoke to the IP’s this morning. They really are amazing people and I want nothing but the best for them, but I’m sad.

And the sadness is for a couple of reasons.

  1. I got dumped and that never feels good. AND I can totally see it from their perspective. If my doctor who has studied reproductive stuff for a career told me to switch surrogates I would follow their instruction. I mean, what they hell do I know?! This is what they do for a living.
  2. And I am pretty sure my journey as a surrogate just ended. THAT is what really makes me want to cry. Which I need to explain in more detail.

Jesse and I, back before we knew ALL the absolute shit that comes with surrogacy (I mean, let’s face it- this has been one shitty path- a great match, amazing IP’s, but the rest of it is just a totally fucking failure. I mean two failures really), thought that this would be over and done in about a year or a little over. We thought, ever so naively, that we’d get pregnant, have a breeze pregnancy, hand a precious gift to the new parents, and skip off into the sunset.

We “knew” that it could be hard and trying but, like so many other people at the start of a journey, thought that it would all work out and that it would all be fine. BUT it wasn’t.

Twice it wasn’t fine.

The hassle of finding childcare for a 3-4 day transfer trip- TWICE

The totally jacked up hormones (which were not too terrible really but now that I’ve regulated some, I know it was messing with my sex drive and that probably sucks for a husband [my keeper pregnancies had the opposite effect]) and shots in the ass- TWICE

Not to mention 2 weeks of no intercourse pre transfer and then 5 weeks of ZERO ORGASM also probably really absolutely sucked- TWICE

Then there’s the utter heartbreak and devastation and the aftermath of my total sadness that my husband had to deal with TWICE

AND the fact that ALL of that happened and now it’s over just fucking sucks ass. Fuck you end of 2017.

So, for the last year, this dream I’ve been fostering and building and cherishing and protecting and working to come to fruition has just ended. And I guess I’m just processing that.

I think a big part of me wants to try again. But is that the part of me that just doesn’t like failing? Is it really the responsible thing to do? For me? For my family? For our future?

My husband doesn’t think it is. At all. He didn’t even want to try again but was willing to from my insistence and with the qualification that it was only IF the IP’s wanted one more try. But they don’t.

And he has completely logical reasons to back up why he is done:

  • It’s a stress on our marriage (which is already tough with two kids)
  • It is an added stress on our sex life (again- TWO young kids)
  • It is restrictive (see above two and add on travel restrictions, food restrictions, exercise restrictions, and life restrictions- he’s tired of being so limited)
  • It’s dangerous (which is something we shrugged off going in to this, but the other day I passed some clots which were residual from the D&C and it scared the absolute shit out of us both. I think that was the final nail in the coffin for Jesse).
  • It’s not worth it financially, if something terrible were to go wrong (and apparently with my luck, that seems all the more likely)

There were more, but I stopped taking notes because, in true Jesse fashion, his logic trumps my emotional desire to be pregnant again so I have ZERO leverage.

So, there it is. As quickly as it started, it’s almost definitely over and I might just have to be okay with that.

But first, I want to cry about it.

Days after loss- A surrogate’s side

It’s been about 5 days.  The flowers the IP’s bought me are prettier than ever.  The blooms are amazing.

Most of the time, the distraction of my family helps keep my mind off the heartache… the guilt… the sense of failure I am feeling.

On Friday, the day after the D&C, my kids went to school as normal so I had the morning to myself.  Laying around didn’t seem like a great idea.  So I cleaned.  The house is practically spotless… as spotless as it can be when you have two kids and three dogs anyway.

I think, much like the first time, this will just linger.  The tear producing waves are much further apart than they were on day one and I assume they will gradually grow far enough apart that I will not cry at all, one day.

I was talking to another surrogate about the loss she and her IP’s experienced.  We’ve decided that this particular situation is VERY difficult.  I certainly do not want to say it is any worse than any other woman experiencing a miscarriage- that is not it at all.  There’s just a level of complication added to this that makes it so strange and hard to navigate.  If it were just miscarriage, sadly, I know many women that I can talk to about that; I have people I could commiserate with.  But the complication of losing someone else’s baby… there aren’t many women that can share that story.  There is no guide book.  There is no one to really provide any direction.

It’s also difficult for my husband.  He mentioned the toll it’s taking on him.  This is not our child, but, from what I have read, many men “recover” faster than the woman.  She was the one that experienced constant reminders of what amazing thing her body was doing (or supposed to be doing) and when the pregnancy ends, she’s the one that both physically and emotionally must recover- there are hormones that must be contended with, and emotional scars, and a feeling of failure.  I have all of those things, but I also have the concern and well-being of the IP’s that I must process.  How are they?  What can I do for them?  How might I show them that I am thinking of them without re-opening a wound they are trying to keep clean and covered?  What do I do in this terrible situation?  It’s constantly there in the back of mind, ALL of this.  And my husband just wants his happy wife and the mother of his children back.

He mentioned the other day that there have only been two times in our marriage that I have cried so hard he was worried about me.  And, both of those times were when the surrogacy pregnancies failed. I do not want to call this pain a burden, but I do think that my husband might view it that way.  And I do understand that- our family is complete, these worries amazingly didn’t plague our family… when we wanted kids, we luckily got them without ANY complications.  And now we are taking on someone else’s struggle- which we knew.  I, so naively, didn’t think any of this would happen.  I thought that I would have a transfer, get pregnant, have a pretty uneventful pregnancy, and give this family a baby.  I was so terribly, terribly, wrong.

I don’t know where this journey goes now.  And I don’t even know if I will have a part in it.  I deeply hope that I will. The desire to help a couple grow their family is still, very much, a part of my dream and my passion.  But it isn’t up to just me (there are the IP’s, my husband, my family that must also be considered).

The Appointment…

So the office at the monitoring clinic was PACKED!  We ended up having to wait a bit longer than normal which was agonizing.

But, once they took vitals and had me use the bathroom (empty bladder for vaginal ultrasound), it was all really quick!

It’s crazy how nervous I was getting!  Heart was racing, thoughts were swirling, and apparently it was obvious because my husband kept telling me to take deep breaths.

Then the Doc came in and raised the chair to a ridiculous height (I felt soooo exposed)! Wand was inserted and immediately I could see what wasn’t there last time!  RELIEF!

There was a little black circle in a haze of gray there on the screen and, as the doctor got the wand focused in, you could see a little blob inside that circle.

There’s a yoke sake…

There’s a bit more than a fetal pole…

There was this beautiful pulsing, flashing, heart…

We are ALL thrilled!

The doc said that little baby is measuring a bit ahead of schedule 6 weeks 5 days (we are only 6 weeks and 2 days).  And while he is not THE doctor, it was nice to hear that “all looks well in there.”

He was awesome to let us video and facetime, he printed pictures, and he allowed us to record the sound of the tiny, 120-beats-per-minute heartbeat.  After a bit of conversation with my ever so smart husband, we’ve decided that I shouldn’t post any of the pictures or videos since this is not our little guy in here… but just know that it is a beautiful sound.

Whew!  What a load off.  Hopefully later today I will hear from the CA Doc and get the “offical word” and be released to… ahem… enjoy… um… some of the things I’ve been missing (PS- I am NOT referring to alcohol! And, strangely, don’t really miss it that much). 

Thanks for the positive thoughts and vibes sent our way!  We, as I mentioned, are all THRILLED!
PS- as of 5:30, I’ve been officially released from all super careful precautions and am allowed to act like a normal pregnant lady (no straining, ridiculous lifting, moderate exercise, low impact, careful with abdominal stuff, etc). And, cleared to resume normal marital relations 😉😉!

🎃 Halloween 🎃 

Tucker was a bat: 


And Sage was a lady bug:


We had other outfits planned and purchased, but then the weather promptly decided it should act more like fall and be in the 50’s and rainy. 

So the short-sleeved, tutu, ladybug outfit for Sage morphed into a sweater ladybug outfit that had a hood attached. She still had to be tucked under a blanket to stay warm enough. And Tucker’s outfit morphed into the bat costume that went over long pants and long sleeves- layers! Yay! 

Tucker rode his bike and did an amazing job this year. 

Last year was his first time to trick or treat and we made it to about 5 houses before bedtime hit. I have to give two year old Tucker credit though, all the houses in this neighborhood are on acre lots so there was quite a few tiny steps to get to each of the doors. And he was enthralled with each item going into his bag which caused even more distraction and delay. 

This year though- a champ! We got half the circle block covered! He sang songs for the lady that would only give out her treat if they performed a trick. He was unfazed by the zombies that stood in the way of the candy at one house. Was THRILLED by the chainsaw that scared the living shit it of me (and might give me nightmares)! Rang all the doorbells, said “thank you,” and listened carefully when we were on the street! It’s these moments that I am reassured that we are doing our job as parents properly. 

Sage also did a good job, but she’s still shy and too bashful to sing. She needed me to hold her near the zombies (to be honest, I used her tiny red polka dotted body as my shield 😬). And she was not a fan of the chainsaw- I totally understand. She also stopped getting out of the stroller once we let her eat the Cheetos she earned at the previous house- which made things go quite a bit faster. 

Once home, the sugar rush and the tiredness kicked in and wrangling kids into PJ’s tested my parenting patience. But they are tucked in tight dreaming of all the candy they will beg us for all day tomorrow! 

Anyway- it was a great Halloween and though I’m exhausted, I’m ready for tomorrow. Last blood draw 💉 and then ultrasound on Friday. Crossing my fingers for amazing news for IP’s!!

Here’s a photo dump of my pumpkins with their pumpkins: